that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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