Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
