he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
