operation have a gay friend backfired
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
