She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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