Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
