I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
