do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
