I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
