I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
