New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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