garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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