I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Randomize
