So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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