cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
