You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
