sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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