Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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