Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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