His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
