she looked like the before picture.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Randomize
