too bad you live with your parents still
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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