Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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