I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
