White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
