the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
