that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
