When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
