i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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