So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
