'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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