The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
