I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My feet surprised me
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