if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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