I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
