he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
