He disabled his match.com account in front of me
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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