I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
