i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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