just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
