Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
