that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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