he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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