That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
