she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
