she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
