Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
