It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
