all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
