I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
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