Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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