It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
