I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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