Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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